Whatever You Want Honey

Ok. Let me set the stage.

The day we left the campground was a Monday. It was before noon. The heat balmy and the air so thick with moisture you could nearly splash one another.

The car was packed tight. The trunk jammed with camping gear to the point of overflowing. The backseat laden with laptops, pillows and miscellaneous other campground necessities. Bottles of water were plentiful and the trip snack bag was within reach.

The little guy is buckled into his seat and already playing his Leapster. We could hear Thomas and His Friends music wafting through the dense humidity echoing like it was being played in a tin can. Ma in her kerchief and I in my cap, had just settled in for a long summer’s nap drive.

We stop at the convenience store to pick up coffee for me (as if it wasn’t hot enough outside) and a Poweraide for Kaleb before we get on the highway. We hop on the Interstate and navigate through the other campers fleeing their campground sites. I set the cruise control at 68 and turned up the music.

To what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But that a State Cop Car should draw near.
I jumped from my skin and Becki said, Uh Oh.
I wondered how fast the Lincoln would go.

But never fear I had set the speed to cruise,
I thought I was fine until I saw red and blues.
I heard the woop woop then I pulled to the side,
Looks like this wasn’t an uneventful ride.

He said, “Do you know at what speed I clocked you?”
68 but I don’t think yours was that too.
He retorted, “75 is what the gun had.”
All the while thinking this was going to be bad.

He took my DL and insurance card back to his car,
Came back with a smile and handed my son a star.
He said this is a warning so keep your speed slow,
Stuck his head in the window and wouldn’t you know.

Spoke to my son and said with an ear to ear smile,
You’re a deputy now, so watch your dad’s speed or I’ll,
Have to pull him over again down the road lickety-splicket,
And give him another like this bright yellow ticket.

Well, it didn’t go exactly like that, but you know peotic liberty and all. He really did give me a warning ticket and he really did give my son a star shaped badge that said “Deputy” on it. AND he really did tell my son to watch my speed.

But I know without a doubt that I had cruise control set at 68. We were in a 65 MPH zone, too. So, about the 75… I do not know. Could it be I was pulled over for having a PA tag on Ohio?

Oh, the adventures we have!

- D