Whatever You Want Honey

- D

Yes. I can be full of useless facts that seemly amount to nothing when taken in, but provide to be useful when the situation warrants it.

Problem:
The hot water lasts for 4 minutes in the morning.

Solution:
Alternate taking showers with my wife every other day. (Thank goodness for deodorant and baby powder [for me not her, she smells like wildflowers all the time ]). On the days I take a shower, I give my son a shower before I get mine. Otherwise, this would be the attitude I would get.

Let me explain. We have no water heater. We live in an old building with the hot water supplied through the furnace’s boiler. When the weather is hot, the furnace tends to not kick on. So, it needs to be manually switched on. It heats for about 30 minutes which provides about 4 minutes of hot water. When it is cold outside (50 degrees or below) the water stays nice and hot for hours (not really, but you get the point).

Problem:
It rains for 64 hours straight and the dog smells, well… like a wet dog.

Solution:
Dog shampoo works in the rain too. It just doesn’t come out as easy unless you stand directly under the broken downspout.

The dog has been stinking for a while and the fact that we only have a stand up shower makes it difficult to bathe the dog properly. I didn’t actually bathe her outside though. Although, in theory, you could. Nor do I have a broken downspout. I took her to my mom’s house and gave her a good scrub down there. She smells much better!

Problem:
I just found out that our tap water is not as good as it could be.

Solution:
Add a pinch of sea salt to 1 gallon of drinking water to add electrolytes and make the water work better in your body.

I just read somewhere that adding a pinch of Sea Salt turns your water from plain old water into a veritable electrolyte factory. Not as salty as a Sports Drink. Actually, I couldn’t taste the salt at all. Aside from that, it slightly improved the taste of the water. It made it taste more like… water. I know, that sounds like a Doofus remark, but really, it didn’t have the “from the spigot” taste to it. Hho’da thunk?

- D

Ok. Let me set the stage.

The day we left the campground was a Monday. It was before noon. The heat balmy and the air so thick with moisture you could nearly splash one another.

The car was packed tight. The trunk jammed with camping gear to the point of overflowing. The backseat laden with laptops, pillows and miscellaneous other campground necessities. Bottles of water were plentiful and the trip snack bag was within reach.

The little guy is buckled into his seat and already playing his Leapster. We could hear Thomas and His Friends music wafting through the dense humidity echoing like it was being played in a tin can. Ma in her kerchief and I in my cap, had just settled in for a long summer’s nap drive.

We stop at the convenience store to pick up coffee for me (as if it wasn’t hot enough outside) and a Poweraide for Kaleb before we get on the highway. We hop on the Interstate and navigate through the other campers fleeing their campground sites. I set the cruise control at 68 and turned up the music.

To what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But that a State Cop Car should draw near.
I jumped from my skin and Becki said, Uh Oh.
I wondered how fast the Lincoln would go.

But never fear I had set the speed to cruise,
I thought I was fine until I saw red and blues.
I heard the woop woop then I pulled to the side,
Looks like this wasn’t an uneventful ride.

He said, “Do you know at what speed I clocked you?”
68 but I don’t think yours was that too.
He retorted, “75 is what the gun had.”
All the while thinking this was going to be bad.

He took my DL and insurance card back to his car,
Came back with a smile and handed my son a star.
He said this is a warning so keep your speed slow,
Stuck his head in the window and wouldn’t you know.

Spoke to my son and said with an ear to ear smile,
You’re a deputy now, so watch your dad’s speed or I’ll,
Have to pull him over again down the road lickety-splicket,
And give him another like this bright yellow ticket.

Well, it didn’t go exactly like that, but you know peotic liberty and all. He really did give me a warning ticket and he really did give my son a star shaped badge that said “Deputy” on it. AND he really did tell my son to watch my speed.

But I know without a doubt that I had cruise control set at 68. We were in a 65 MPH zone, too. So, about the 75… I do not know. Could it be I was pulled over for having a PA tag on Ohio?

Oh, the adventures we have!

- D

[I know, it’s a long time after the fact, but, hey, I’ve been busy.]

We had a blast. As for the humidity and rain, I could have done without it, but you cannot be too picky when you are camping. Or can you?

We decided the next camping trip will be near some shoreline and instead of tents we will be sleeping in cabins. I do not want to sleep in a river again. Our tent sprouted multiple streams on Sunday. Not all that fun unless you have gills and flippers. The last time I checked, my gills and flippers disappeared in the womb.

Anyway, I wanted to post a few of the pictures that were captured during our mini-VA-cation.

Here is our little group.

Left to Right

First Row - Kids:
Kaleb, Matthew, Samara, Emily, Brennen and Matthew (Yup. Two Matthews)

Second Row:
Me (Dale), Becki, Yvonne, Kevin, Patty and Steve

Back Row:
Jim, Heather, Terry and Rhoda (dog)

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Here I snapped a quick photo of our neighbor who obliged us by taking a photograph of us in the group setting.

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This is our mansion… that got flooded… did I mention that if you fill a tent full with water, nearly everything sinks? Except for the air mattress.

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This is Heather, Mat, Sam and Rhoda’s site here, it got flooded too. The two sites that I staked down got flooded. Coincidence? The world may never know.

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This is where Terry and Jim stayed. They stayed dry.

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Yvonne, Kevin, Brennen and Emily stayed here. They stayed dry, too. Hrumph.

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I didn’t get a picture of Patty, Steve and Matthew’s Hilton on wheels, so you will just have to imaging all the luxuries of the Hilton being towed behind a big pickup truck. Did I mention they had air conditioning and a game console? A tent??? What was I thinking???!!!

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Terry was caught in the act.

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Saturday, the kids got to play with bubbles, while the adults blogged and read e-mail. This was a camping excursion, after all.

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It would not be a trip if Heather didn’t sing and dance.

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The Wheels on the Bus Go Round and Round… Me singing and Kaleb lip syncing. Actually, you couldn’t hear me, which is a blessing to those listening.

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When it was time to go, the kids decided they would help…

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… and help…

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… and help.

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I have another story to tell about the trip home. You can laugh, I just don’t want to know how funny you think it is.

- D

Yes. We are camping. Yes, we are roughing it. Yes, it is HOT! And, Yes, I am sweating like a pig on a spit.

We arrived at the campground yesterday at around 3 pm. We got to the site and unpacked. That didn’t take nearly as long as packing. Everyone arrived within about 20 minutes. Within an hour, I was sopping wet from the sweat and humidity. Yuck.

We set up the mansion, it still took a half hour. T and J switched campsites three times before landing at the spot where they decided to stay. We all pitched in to set up the eating area. Two eating tents stacked side-by-side and two picnic tables end-to-end.

By the end of the day all tents were erected and sites were set up.

The ladies took off to pick up food. When I say they took off I mean they took off. It was two and a half hours later before they decided to return. I took a few of the kids to the playground. My son found a way to get covered from head to foot in dirt. I swear he is a magnet for the brown stuff.

We are camping in four sites. There are nine adults, five kids and six laptops. Do you think we need a real vacation?

It’s so hot, my laptop is burning up. Have a great Saturday.

We should have pictures.

- D