Whatever You Want Honey

A little advice for the men who may stumble upon this post.

Over the weekend, my wife mentioned that she thought her hair was getting a little long. In another conversation she said do you think my eyebrows look bushy?

To most men, these are merely questions that require answers like, “Honey, I love your hair, no matter the length.” and “Baby, you have beautiful eyebrows.” While, at first these answers appear correct, they are not.

I know, I know. You thought you were doing good, right?

Well, what she is really saying is, “Honey, do you mind if I go to the salon to get my hair styled and eyebrows waxed?”

Your response should be the following, “Honey, I love your hair, no matter the length. Would you like for me to call the salon and get you the first available appointment?” and “Baby, you have beautiful eyebrows, should I have them wax your eyebrows, too?” Then follow up with, “Don’t worry about the bill, just take my card, then we will get dinner out, your choice.”

Nearly 99.9% of the time, this will appease your lady. The other .1% of the time, it is probably just her having her period and it wouldn’t matter what you said, because any answer would be dead wrong. Sorry. That is just the way it is.

- D

P.S. If she catches you reading this post and then you tell her the things I wrote above, everything you say will be Null and Void.