Whatever You Want Honey

This isn’t advice for me anymore. I am happily married. Although, it is still advice I use when I am with my wife. This is why I have so many lady friends who are comfortable talking to me.

Are Looks The Key? No.

As, my description says, “I am a masculine man who is comfortable with my better feminine qualities. The best of both worlds collided together into one super sensitive, emotional, yet a ruggedly handsome male.” This description does fit me.

I am not uber cute like Brad Pitt
,

Quarky cute like Tom Cruise
,

Classic handsome like Sean Connery

Or even sexy cute like Antonio Sabato Jr.


I am just a regular guy with regular looks.

So if you are just an average Joe, Bill or John, like me, what makes you attractive? The answer my friend is “communication”.

Huh?

Yes, that’s right, “COMMUNICATION”. Talking but most important, listening to what the opposite sex has to say and responding.

Most women, do not care so much about looks. Yes, they care if you look nice.

Here are 10 Tips

1. Shave or trim the facial hair, “Wildman” is not “in”
2. Dress decently (notice, I did not say suit and tie), just not like you wadded them into a ball then compacted by a car crusher
3. Shower or take a bath, nothing is worse than a guy who smells like he just pulled two double-headers in a row then ran ten miles through raw sewage
4. Compliment her, you do not have to be mushy about it, but show her you like her. You could say something like, “I just love the way your face lights up in the sun/moon.”
5. Regardless of what you may think, or what the feminist movement has taught you, chivelry IS NOT DEAD. Open her car door, open any door.
6. Listen to her. Talk to her. Women like to communicate.
7. When you are listening to her let your eyes travel from one eye to the other then to her mouth and back to her eye you started with (kind of a triangle shape). Do not do it fast but just casually.
8. Do not stare below her neck line!!! She is not a piece of meat.
9. Get acquainted with her first. She is more likely to trust someone she is familiar with. Then make friends with one of her friends. Her friend will put in a good word for you.
10. Be yourself. Pretending to be someone you are not is lying, that is no way to win someone’s trust.
11. Bonus Tip 1: Do not think that every woman loves sports as much as you do. Chances are that she has a much broader spectrum of conversation topics than how your favorite team is stacking up against their next opponent.
12. Bonus Tip 2: Catchy pick up lines are out.

So, if you can follow a few tips, you should be on your way to being more attractive to the Ladies out there.

Oh and by the way, don’t play the dating game, either. If you are “on the prowl” you look like you are “on the prowl”.

- D

I would be remiss as a son and husband if I did not express my offerings of a sweet and blessed Mother’s Day to each and every mom.

Here is a Poem I wrote a for Moms:

For You Mom
by Dale Noles

God created Adam, he was a strapping fine young man,
He was told “You were created from the soil on which you stand.
But Adam, you don’t look happy, I think you need a bride.”
So God took His hand and placed it deep within his side.
He took a rib from Adam and placed it in His hand,
Then proceeded to change it by creating a woman.
God said this to Adam, “Eve is now your wife,
Take your bride and hold her close because she is your life.

Eve, you have a job to do, it is an important task,
This job cannot be done by a man. It is a lot to ask.
I created you with compassion, love, patience in all you do,
Kindness, endurance, sweetness and strength to make it through.
You need to handle pain well, you have a temperament that’s mild,
This task, Eve, that I’ve designed you to do is to bear a child.
This task is quite painful, it is something I won’t deny,
But you will soon forget it, when you look into their eye.

I want you to stand strong and be a diligent creator of life,
Your pain from birthing was nothing, compared to the remainder of the strife
That you will endure and surely go through as your child grows,
From bumps and bruises, broken arms, even skinned elbows.
Though you are not the one who hurts this time, you’ll feel the pain the same.
For all the tribulation that you’ll go through, are experiences you’ll gain.
You look concerned, Eve. Do not fret, this is for the greater good,
Do not worry my child, this is a blessing, I’ll call it Motherhood.

-D

Today has been rough. I am not going to go into all the sordid details of my day, but I’ll give you an idea of what’s happening. It started late last night and continued through about 10 minutes ago.

The short of it is a friend’s dad is very ill, another friend is upset (I do not know that story, yet), another friend thinks I hate her because I failed to return an e-mail eons ago (JM - I love you, really!), a client is upset, a financial crisis hit, after 2 months of waiting my son still doesn’t have health insurance, I have piles of paperwork that is filling my desk, it’s too darn hot in my office, my cat scoops his food out of his bowl and decorates the floor with it, my wife is in a tizzy, her mouth is in pain cause I haven’t taken her to the dentist, my son is acting like he got sugar injections every half hour for the last week and it is all starting to kick in, let’s see…is there anything else?…Probably. But for now, isn’t that enough?!

On the lighter side, my dog, Sydnie, sits at my side to reassure me that all is well, because I am here.

It is this kind of thinking that I have missed in the stress of my day. My dog loves and treats me like I need to love and treat others; with quiet empathy, utmost love and adoration. MAN, did I miss the mark today! So, to those I’ve wronged, I love you I didn’t mean to hurt you. To those who are in pain, my heart goes out to you. To those I’ve neglected, I’m here. To those in financial troubles, do not worry, tomorrow takes care of itself. To those who have organization skills, I need you. To everyone, hug a neck of someone you love right now!!!!! You never know if you will ever see or talk to them again.

I am getting ready to take some time off, visit a friend, hug my son, cuddle with my wife and hopefully blow off some steam in the process. Wish me luck!

-D

P.S. I was serious about the hugging thing. Go do it, now.

Ok.

I’ve blogged only once before, so this is relatively new for me. I have worked in technology for the last 12 years in some form or fashion, so it is nothing new to me. I promote technology for a living and blogging, too. So, you might ask me, “Why in the world did it take me 12 years to start a blog?!” The answer to that question remains a mystery to me. If by chance you figure that one out you may be entitled to an espresso or double machiato as a thank you.

The question on your mind at this point may be, “What’s the deal with the blog title ‘Whatever You Want Honey’ anyway?” Good question. The answer; quite simply, bacause my wife said so.

The long answer; She didn’t absolutely say it, put her foot down and stomp around shouting that I need to vent somewhere and what better place for a captive audience than in a blog post. She merely said, “Honey, wouldn’t it be cool if you had a place to lend your wisdom to other men and women about all the things that clutter your brain? You know I was thinking and having a blog called ‘Whatever You Say Honey’ would be really awesome.”

After about an hour and a half of contemplating, I thought, “Self, she might be on to something here.” In a few short keystrokes, I registered ‘Whatever You Want Honey’ and proudly told her of my baby steps.

She quickly retorted with, “You registered ‘Whatever You Want Honey’ NOT ‘Whatever You Say Honey’!”

So, alas, fear has struck this well intentioned man. Because I realize [now] that I just created a monster. It will soon become ‘Whatever You Want Honey’.

As Cher said, if I could turn back time….

-D

P.S. She created the blog for me and customized it, too. Show her some love and tell her how purty it is.

P.P.S. I actually like it, so get off my back about it. It is not feminine, it is…. Me.