Whatever You Want Honey

It was 9 am on a Saturday morning. My wife, her BFF (Heather), my son (Kaleb) and I are sitting on Heather’s front porch drinking our morning jolt of caffeine and conversing about what we were going to do today.

My son is such a man with his hands down his pants. Heather said, “Get your hands out of your pants, it is not going anywhere. It’s a complex you men have.”

To which he replied, “Girls have Thingys, too.”

I guess to experience the whole story you have to know that my wife and I debated what to call the male and female body parts ever since my son was born. Because we were never able to give “them” names that were age appropriate, we just called it a “thingy“.

Then, I said, “No. Girls do not have Thingys.”

Kaleb replied, “Uhn ha. Let me see!”

Now, how do you explain the differences in anatomy to a curious five year old?

This is what stumbled out of my mouth, not that I endorse this explanation, nor do I know if this is the correct way to handle the situation properly, but it is what came out. So I suppose I have to live with the err of my morning mind and lack of caffeine coursing through my blood.

“Kaleb,” I blurted, “boys have ‘outies‘ and girls have ‘innies‘.”

To my surprise, Kaleb asked, “Oh, like when they are scared?”

We could not contain our laughter. For the next few moments the tears poured out.

When the laughter calmed down, I said, “No. they are ‘innies‘ all the time.”

Then he continued, “Why?”

Oh, that I could turn the clock back and replay this scenario in a much more eloquent way. I could have said, “Don’t worry about that, yet.” or “When you are old enough to understand, I will tell you about it.” or “Let’s ask Pastor Myron.”

Any of those responses would have been good.

But being the Christian and the wannabe scientist rolled into one, I responded with a retort, “Well, you see when a baby is growing in a mommy’s belly, God makes the baby either a girl or boy. If He wants the baby to be a girl, then she gets an ‘innie’. If He wants the baby to be a boy, he gets an ‘outie’.”

To my elation, this was enough to satisfy my son’s curiosity on the topic.

To give further background, we have found that the “Why” questions stop when we say, “Because God said so.” or “Because God made it that way.”

An example of this was recently when Kaleb asked why it rains. I told him all about the water cycle. (I know, this explanation of evaporation, condensation and precipitation is a little over his head, but I do not want to talk down to him. After all, he is an adult in training.)

He then repeats his question. Then I said, “Because God wanted to make it rain.”

Then I get the sweetest reply, “Oh, ’cause God said so. Like when you say, ‘Daddy says so?’”

Do you know that children bring the greatest pleasures in life. You just cannot help but smile.

Today is a day that the Lord made. Let us rejoice and be glad in it! - Psalm 118:24

-